Anyone who has ever tried to register a dotcom will tell you that all the names are taken. Even the most unlikely ones.
Either there’s an organisation somewhere for whom the name is perfect, or the professional dotcom squatters have snapped it up in the hope of a future bid. If you’re after a short, one-syllable, easily pronounceable name, there is simply nothing left.
Or very nearly nothing.
There's a certain sub-group of domain names that remain available for a minimal fee, even two decades into the age of the Internet. They are all one syllable, easy to pronounce and seven letters or fewer: qualities that are gold dust in normal circumstances. Yet they are presumed so awkward, ugly and uninspiring that nobody – not even the dotcom squatters – can bring themselves to go near them.
This post is a testimony to those names. By the truest test of all – the market – these are the ugliest monosyllables in the language.
gludge.com
blorph.com
frunge.com
splegg.com
thrord.com
gruld.com
brolge.com
crench.com
klorp.com
throdge.com
skrolch.com
wrimb.com
strebb.com
blarse.com
phlut.com
sprolge.com
thlunk.com
plooped.com
prork.com
grulch.com
These names are all available for a minimal fee from any domain registration service as of 18 September 2012. There are more out there, though I have tried to stay as close as possible to relatively straightforward words. I will add more from time to time – please let me know if you find any particularly good ones (one syllable, fewer than seven letters, easy to pronounce).
More importantly, let me know if any of these are taken off the market, especially if it’s as a result of seeing them on this site. I have no commercial interest, but would like to track the fate of these sad monosyllables.
UPDATE:
This post has been republished on Creative Review. Since then, over the course of 20-21 September, many of the names have been taken, although content has yet to go up.
As far as I can tell, klorp.com and grulch.com now belong to the same guy in Germany. Brolge.com has an owner in New Jersey. And gludge.com belongs to Marcus in the UK, who has done this with it. Others have gone to anonymous owners elsewhere.
It remains to be seen if these are (possibly automated) domain squatters or people with interesting plans. If you’ve bought one of the domains and are reading this, it would be nice to hear from you.
As of 14.30 on 21 September 2012, these eight names remain unclaimed:
splegg.com
thrord.com
throdge.com
skrolch.com
wrimb.com
sprolge.com
plooped.com
prork.com
Seriously, guy in Germany, what’s wrong with throdge.com?
I don't know what's wrong with throdge.com. It just sounds wrong.
This guy from Germany.
(Seriously. I blogged about the Creative Review-Posting on my Blog when my Readers told me that some of the Names actually are alright, so I picked some of them… [I also have blorph.com, FYI])
Here's my Blog-Entry: http://www.crackajack.de/2012/09/20/the-club-of-unwanted-url-stinkers/
And I'd so like to have vogonian poetry made from bad Domain-Names ;D
Posted by: René | 04 October 2012 at 16:43
FYI: throdge.com is mine, now. ;)
Posted by: René | 04 October 2012 at 16:47
Hi René – great to hear from you. I'd like to reply in German, but unfortunately it's beyond me.
Thanks for getting in touch and for the blog post. I would definitely like to keep in touch, so feel free to post updates or email me any time. I agree, a poetic usage would be lovely.
And congratulations on throdge. We are now down to the last four.
Posted by: Nick Asbury | 04 October 2012 at 17:13
Well, I'm apparently the new owner of plooped.com. I promised to use it for something worthy of the name.
Posted by: Jacobbarssbailey | 04 October 2012 at 21:33
Hi Jacob
You have proved me wrong - I thought plooped would be the last to go. I'm sure you will do great things with it.
Please drop me a line or post a comment if there are any important plooped-related developments.
Posted by: Nick Asbury | 05 October 2012 at 11:05
Glad to see somebody grabbed splegg.com before I had to ...
Posted by: jdunlevy | 05 October 2012 at 20:04
Yes, I'm expecting great things from splegg.com
We appear to be down to the last two: wrimb.com and skrolch.com
I hold out a small amount of hope for skrolch.com, but only an idiot would buy wrimb.com
Posted by: Nick Asbury | 05 October 2012 at 20:52
I wonder if wrimb.com might appeal to the Welsh Rugby International Marketing Board...
Posted by: Nikk | 05 October 2012 at 21:09
Hmm, or possibly the West Riding International Marching Band.
Posted by: Nick Asbury | 05 October 2012 at 21:56
Catchy tagline, Asbury&Asbury! :D
Posted by: radioredrafts | 06 October 2012 at 04:56
Now this is Bizarre. A decade ago, I registered a .com based upon my own nickname, and I still own it. However, I have always been wary of having too much traceable info on the web, so I also took a random non-word .com address:- WWW.THRODGE.COM
Yes, it did exist, but after a couple of years of basically being an occasional email conduit, I let it lapse.
Of course, I could be lying, except...
http://wayback.archive.org/web/*/http://www.throdge.com
Posted by: Big Iain | 06 October 2012 at 17:34
Saw this article and was compelled to buy skrolch.com
Posted by: Will | 07 October 2012 at 05:07
Will, you are a smart man. Very best of luck with skrolch.
So wrimb.com is the last name standing. The last of the unwanted.
Quite right, as it's a terrible name.
Posted by: Nick Asbury | 07 October 2012 at 16:47
Big Iain - I meant to reply to your comment earlier. You've opened up a fascinating new front in the Hall of Unwanted Dotcoms. It hadn't occurred to me that some of these names might have a pre-history. This feels similar to discovering there may once have been water on Mars.
Thanks for sharing the story – I'll have to research the others now.
Posted by: Nick Asbury | 08 October 2012 at 13:35
You're welcome, Nick, old chap. I do have a suspicion, that you'll be unsuccessful in finding other zombie domains, but I guess that makes me and my (former) domain all the more unique. Good luck with the research.
Posted by: Big Iain | 09 October 2012 at 20:15