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November 2008

Failed joke #4

– What do you get when you cross a trombone with a kangaroo?
– I don’t know. What are you doing in bed with my wife?

Mug shot


Just got the latest samples in of our Pentone mugs. Shouldn't be long now...

Stepping away from the computer



I've been making some wall hangings lately using old scraps of fabric and denim. There's something peculiarly satisfying about stretching the canvas across the frame and then banging lots of nails into it, although I suspect Nick would beg to differ.

Failed joke #3

– Doctor, doctor, my arms keep falling off!!
– When did this start happening?
– Yesterday!!
– And how often does it happen?
– Every ten minutes!!
– Are there any other symptoms?
– No. My arms just fall off!!
– Hold on, I’m going to get the senior registrar.
– OK!!

Found in translation

Corpoetics has been picked up on a few blogs around the world, but the one we like best is this Dutch one called Fackeldey Finds, written by Jacqueline Fackeldey. We had to run it through the Babel Fish translation tool to work out what it meant. The result forms a strange kind of poetry in its own right. Here’s the introduction to her article (with some added line breaks):

You come them everywhere against,
the splendid sentences and slogans
with which commit themselves recommend.

You a book are able write and that is also exact
what the stylist has done Nick Asbury.

There, as it happens, recently a collection
of poems of its hand with in this poems
appeared based on those sentences.

Hence that Asbury this dichtvorm
and its collection of poems
very appropriate ‘Corpoetics’ have called.

Not sure what a dichtvorm is, but let’s face it, it doesn’t sound good.

Jacqueline goes on to include a few poems of her own, which look great, although Babel Fish continues to have its weird way with them. Here’s one example:

An open door is called at us `entrance solution'.
And we clean tillen at the level of precise cleaning'
but sometimes us the doubt comes over
in the form of the grindstone for the spirit
because simplicity is' nevertheless `design your own life'?

Sounds like a Steve McClaren press conference.

Anyway, thanks very much for the post Jacqueline. And thanks to Babel Fish for clearing everything up.

Failed joke #2

– How many trapeze artists does it take to change a lightbulb?
– Leave it, I’ll do it.

Something's brewing


Working on an extension of the Pentone system at the moment. (We had to do mugs eventually.) Got the first proof back from the printer – a friendly place in Stoke-on-Trent where they call you 'me duck' and mugs are 'beakers' and they don't do Pantone Cool Grey 7, they do 'charcoal'.

There'll be a set of four mugs available to buy online, hopefully a few weeks before Christmas. So stick the kettle on and watch this space.

A Cloudy Language #10 and #11

“It’s breezy and the sky responds to that by breaking the cloud up and letting the sun through.”
Rob McElwee

“I say rain proper because behind my head is lime green and yellow.”
Rob McElwee

Full set here

Corpoetics in Creative Review


Our Corpoetics project gets some coverage in this month's Creative Review

Download a pdf (604 kb)

Failed joke #1

– Knock knock
– Who's there?
– It's the police.
– It's the police who?
– It's the police. I'm afraid we have some terrible news.

Shop Open Beer


Human palindrome


A good name for a place


Loft inventory

Sun lounger (fold away)
Suitcase (hard)
Big orange plastic bag (empty)
White laundry basket
Suitcase (soft)
Samsonite bag (zip broken?)
Berghaus rucksack
Electric guitar with case
Guitar case (Nick's – empty?)
Keyboards and stand
Drum machine
Sony double tape deck
Technics turntable
Technics CD player
Sony speakers
Sony hi-fi
Hi-fi amp
Sony turntable (Nick's)
Anglepoise lamp (possibly broken but easy to fix)
White spotlight
Bag of dustsheets
Green blinds
Christmas tree stand
Box of Christmas stuff
Small electric heater
Blue wall clock (50s)
Small box containing whisky bottle, gold coasters, candles and mugs
Few small soft toys (birds, rubber duck, rubber cow, Bagpuss)
Box of red stuff
Box of old letters (Sue)
Box of old tapes
2 x pillows
Exercise mat
Blow-up bed
Blue double duvet (Nick's)
Winter double duvet
Box of bubble wrap
Dozen foam boards and cardboard
Box file (Nick's stuff)
Blue folder (Nick's invoices)
Banana Republic bag
Square pine frame (ephemera)
Large brown wooden frame (whisky labels)
Box of old photos
Box of plugs (music-related stuff)
2 x roll mats
2 x tents
2 x sleeping bags
Camping mattress (blow-up)
Pallet of CDs
Screen printing stuff
Old printer
Large bag of Sue's winter clothes and shoes
Large bag of Nick's stuff and blue throw
Large bag containing fluffy rug and floor cushion
Large floor cushion
Wedding dress
Bag of cushions
2006 D&AD annual
2007 D&AD annual
5 x Smith & Milton books
Box of stuff (just general things like maracas and that)
Treasure chest (with photos)
Box of boxes
More bubble wrap
Tall Mathmos light box
2 x portfolio cases and old portfolio file
Silver (!) briefcase
Shoebox of Nick's stuff
Blue toolbox of tapes
Small black rucksack containing more of Sue's stuff
Box of CDs
Box of Corpoetics
Box of trophies
Box of small frames and knick-knacks
Another box of CDs
Brand new computer speakers (white)
Camera and computer boxes with manuals
Bin bag of old Christmas cards
Bucket of paintbrushes
Paint (lots)
Large saw
4 x shelf brackets
Box of invoices and tapes
Small chest of drawers
3 x drawers of LPs
2 x old radios
Box of computer cables