Asbury & Asbury

Hedgehogs

Here's another very lightweight offering from the collection that will one day become Songs for Animals. This one is about hedgehogs.

Hedgehogs

Hedgehogs like to hog a hedge –
hence the 'hog' in 'hedgehog'.

Told you it was lightweight.

I'm publishing it now having realised something disturbing, which is that comedian Dan Antopolski won an award for best joke at this year's Edinburgh Fringe for a joke very similar in spirit to the poem:

Hedgehogs – why can't they just share the hedge?

An excellent joke, but mine scans so it's probably better.

Animal queries

Still working on ways to get Songs for Animals out into the world.* In the meantime, here's a poem that raises more questions than it answers.

Animal queries

Can a cow be bullish?
Can a snail be sluggish?
Can a bird be batty?
Can a dog be catty?

Can a sheep be hammy?
Can a crab be clammy?
Can you rat on a mouse?
Can you pigeonhole grouse?

Can you scapegoat a moose?
Can you duck a goose?
Can you badger a goat?
Can you frogmarch a stoat?

Can you ape a baboon?
Can you hog a raccoon?
Can a trout chicken out?
Can a crow lark about?

Can you toady to a frog?
Can you outfox a dog?
Can a bull be cowed?
Is any of this allowed?

*Let me know if you're currently sleeping with the children's editor of Faber.

Lullaby for a dormouse

Thought I’d send this sleepy little poem into the world to mark the news that the decline in population of the dormouse is apparently slowing. It’s taken from Songs for Animals, a collection that we’re aiming to produce in book form some time within the next year. Speaking of which, if you know any good animal illustrators who might enjoy a project like this, let us know.

Lullaby for a dormouse

It’s time to go to sleep now.
The sun is up and the day is young,
but it’s time to go to sleep now.

The clouds are heavy with snow.
A hollow will be your winter home
in the roots of the hazel tree.

Let winter come and have his time –
it’s time to sleep and dream.
The ground will soon be soft with snow.

This summer was the happiest one –
so many little things to be done.
But it’s time to go to sleep now.

The world will wait and winter pass,
the way that winters always do.
Spring will come and make things new.

But it’s time to go to sleep now.
The sun is up and the day is young
and it’s time to go to sleep now.

Songs for Animals #3

One of our new year’s resolutions is to get Songs for Animals printed up in some shape or form. Here’s another one to be going on with.

Puffin
– Is that a kittiwake over there?
– No, it’s a chuffin' puffin!

– It looks more like a tern to be fair.
– It’s not. It’s a chuffin' puffin!

– Maybe a rock dove or guillemot?
– I said it’s a chuffin' puffin!

– Hang on, it’s a puffin! What a good spot!
– Don’t mention it. It was nuffin.