I’ve been meaning to blog about #clienttweaks, a hashtag that came out of a Twitter conversation last year, full of imagined amends to classic lines. It was partially documented on this Creative Review post.
I thought it would be interesting to take the top 20 slogans from the recent edition of Creative Review and imagine how they might have been tweaked in the hands of less imaginative clients. Amends are detailed below.
1. Beanz Meanz Heinz
Nice – just a couple of typos:
Beans Mean Heinz
2. Just Do It
Love the sentiment, but it’s a bit abrupt – can we make it more of an invitation?
Feel Free To Do It
3. Does Exactly What It Says On The Tin
Not all our products are in tins, and we need to emphasise how we add value:
Does Exactly What It Says On The Packaging – And More
4. Make Love Not War
Can we cover ourselves by adding in a message about safe sex? Something like:
Use A Condom, Not A Cannon
(Needs work)
5. Every Little Helps
Sounds small-time – please amend to:
Every Massive Saving Helps
6. Have A Break. Have A Kit Kat.
Let’s not confine ourselves to breaks – we need to occupy the entire snack territory:
Have A Kit Kat Any Time, Anywhere.
7. Vorsprung Durch Technik
Love it – this will be ideal for our German market.
Please let us know the English version.
8. Think Different
Pretty sure this should be an adverb:
Think Differently
9. It is. Are you?
Definitely use this, but need to tweak it as we’re not independently owned any more:
It is, in spirit. Are you?
10. It’s Finger Lickin’ Good
Nice – just missing the ‘g’:
It’s Finger Licking Good
11. Say It With Flowers
Too generic – need to own it:
Say It With Our Flowers
12. Keep Calm And Carry On
Please change to:
Keep Calm Going Forward
13. It’s The Real Thing
Please change to:
It’s The Genuine Article
14. You Either Love It Or Hate It
Love the opening – rest seems a bit negative. Please change to:
You’ll Love It!
15. Because I’m Worth It
Love this. Any suggestions for making it more exploitative would be great.
16. Snap! Crackle! Pop!
Nice three-part structure, but can we get more selling points into it? Something like:
Taste! Nutrients! Value!
… not quite the same ring to it yet, but I’m not the writer.
17. Never Knowingly Undersold
Love the simplicity, but legal have asked if we can tone down the ‘never’:
Infrequently Knowingly Undersold
18. Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité
Très bien. Fraternité est un petit peu sexiste, n’est-ce pas? Tant mieux!
19. Refreshes The Parts Other Beers Cannot Reach
Like it, but the url and Twitter handle will be a problem. Can we go with:
Refresh Yo’ Head
20. No One Likes Us, We Don’t Care
Really brave. Can we try flipping it round to emphasise the positive? Something like:
Everyone Likes Us, Because We Care
Otherwise, all good to go.
Footnote: You can read more about the original #clienttweaks here, with Mike Reed as one of the early pioneers, alongside Tom Albrighton, who later initiated the entertaining #xmasclienttweaks over the festive period. Many others have contributed to the hashtag, although it was sufficiently long ago for Twitter to have lost the results. Will have to excavate them and put them all in one place at some point.
It made me laugh. Bitterly.
Posted by: Davidemartirani | 13 February 2012 at 15:50
Oh this is brilliant. Been laughing knowingly!
Posted by: Vikki | 13 February 2012 at 16:19
Vorsprung Durch Technik = Advantage through technology
Posted by: x | 15 February 2012 at 12:53
Great. I'll just whip this into Pulitzer winning press release in 10 minutes, call all my buddies at the Nationals and we can have it on the front page of the dailies tomorrow.
My name is Dom. I'm in PR. Not ER. Or something.
Posted by: DomLane | 15 February 2012 at 17:34
Crap. Inappropriate capital and a missing 'a'. I'll get my coat.
Posted by: DomLane | 15 February 2012 at 17:36
Thanks all (particularly 'x' for the German translation - 'Advantage through technology' is cleared to go for the UK campaign).
Dom - typos are always welcome on this blog. I'll clear my diary for the Newsnight & One Show interviews.
Posted by: Nick Asbury | 15 February 2012 at 18:45
Number 7 is superb.
Posted by: AGWelch | 22 February 2012 at 12:43
Great post and FAQs. I like this review. I deeply read it. Your work is inventive and valuable. Thank you for this fascinating post!
Posted by: קטלוג כספות | 21 March 2012 at 17:38
No worries, 21. We should go out for a beer some time.
Posted by: Nick Asbury | 21 March 2012 at 17:58